Finding a Little Peace Now
(Reflection - September 2002)
Sometimes we walk through life going through the motions without much joy or ability to smile. We may feel that we are simply waiting for this life to come to a conclusion, waiting for the kingdom to come so we can truly have what we want, peace with ourselves, peace with those around us, and peace with God. The question is, how can we find that peace in little bits and pieces now, every day, so that our walk is the joyful walk God intended. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” Matthew 14 and 16. I think God has given us the directions, so let’s consider a few of His ideas.
First, I came to spend a weekend of fellowship with people I don’t get to see very often, but who I feel close to. When I am here with you, I feel happy, comforted somehow in the understanding that God has provided us with many different kinds of family and friends and many different ways to find peace. I consider that I am with family this weekend, even though I know some of you well, and some not at all. Maintaining fellowship with each other is one of the suggestions God has for keeping ourselves comforted or content on our sometimes quite difficult journey towards the kingdom, Phil 2:1 “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any incentive in love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and one mind” (Heb. 10: 23, 25).
Reducing stress
Last week I was reading some research about how you can calm yourself
and lower your blood pressure. Two of the ideas jumped out as things God
has told us to do. One is listening to music. It turns out that
researchers have discovered music affects respiratory rate, blood pressure,
stomach contractions, brain activity and even the levels of stress hormones
in the bloodstream. Calm music calms us down and frenzied music hypes us
up. Scripture, of course, already told us this. We find Saul “vexed by
an evil spirit.” What did he do about it? His servants advised him to
send for David, a young man skilled at playing the harp. Whenever Saul felt
that evil spirit upon him, David played for him and, “Saul was refreshed,
and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him.” (I Sam. 16:32).
The second suggestion was to “get some air” or enjoy the outdoors. Again, research reveals blood pressure drops, heart rates slow and regulate, and levels of stress hormones drop if you simply step outside and enjoy what God has created. In Genesis, we are told God created the heavens and earth, the vegetation, each plant yielding seed according to it’s kind, trees bearing fruit, sun, moon and stars, waters, and living creatures, and it was all good. It remains good; it was man who changed. He spoke the words, and the natural world was created, a feat so amazing we cannot even begin to understand it. There is nothing more relaxing to me than the sound of the ocean tide coming and going. Perhaps this is because out in nature we are closer to God, having a living reminder of his power and His gifts right in front of our eyes.
Making use of God’s word
Another reminder of God’s power and His gifts is His word. The book of
Psalms begins like this: “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel
of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seats of
scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he
meditates day and night.” There are a few things I want us to take
notice of in this passage. First, the Hebrew word for “blessed” here
means “happy.” Happy is the man who meditates on thy law day and
night. Second, meditate means to study or think intensely about, to sweep
out all the other thoughts in your head, and think only of God’s word.
Third, this is done “day and night” in other words often and
regularly. If we can make a habit out of following this advice, we have
less time for dwelling on the thoughts that make us feel sad, frustrated or
angry. To follow this advice, you don’t need hours of time, a quiet place
to sit, your Bible or concordance. What you do need is a few of God’s words
tucked into your mind. So, when you are waiting in line at the grocery
store, meditate on God’s words such as, “All things work together for
good to those that love God and are called according to his purpose.”
“Seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things
shall be added unto you.” You know the verses that comfort you, take
some time to dwell on them day and night.
I’d like to make a slight change of pace here, to tell you about my housekeeping. Be patient, you will see the relevance of this in a minute. I am a terrible housekeeper. Well, the board of health will never condemn my home, but Martha Stewart would be very unhappy if she saw it. In my house, things get cleaned when the dirt becomes obvious. I once had a roommate who would vacuum every day, and get very irritated with me because I never vacuumed. My theory was (ok is) that you get the vacuum out when you see the dust bunnies. Since she vacuumed every day, I never saw any dirt, therefore never vacuumed. I wasn’t lazy, just different.
Here’s the problem. If you take this approach to your general mood, in other words, if you wait until you are miserable before you try to repair the problem, it will be MUCH more difficult to fix, than if you maintain yourself. Just like it’s easier to keep a house clean a little bit at a time than it is to clean it all up in one day. And God told us to do it – meditate day and night on the law.
Avoid negative thinking
Now, while we are talking about our thoughts, let’s talk about a few
kinds of negative thinking and how they can be deadly to our general mood or
happiness. Think for a bit about the children of Israel and their journey
through the wilderness. They had a journey of negative thinking. You
remember that they complained about almost everything. The food’s no good;
we’re gonna die out here; we’re thirsty; the people in the land are giants
who will kill us.
Now, I’d like to be the first to say that camping in the desert would NOT be my idea of a good day. In all likelihood, I would have been swept up in the negativity and have been miserable too. The question is: how could they have made the best of an uncomfortable situation? Well, they could have dwelt on God’s previous miracles, the parting of the Red Sea, the manna, or the plagues which affected the Egyptians but not the Jews; they could have dwelt on the fact they were no longer slaves, had lots of food, were safe with there families, and apparently chosen by God. In other words, they counted their misfortunes and discomforts, instead of their blessings. Sisters, count your blessings, this is an important way to find God’s comfort every day.
When you find yourself wrapped up in negative thoughts like the children of Israel, meditate on God’s word, dwell on the blessings of the moments in your day, and take an inventory of what you have, not what you do not have.
Out
thoughts about others
Another specific kind of negative thinking I want to mention is the
tendency we sometimes have to worry about the choices someone else is
making, to judge someone else’s walk. We fret and complain, and can make
ourselves nearly sick defining for sister Smith or brother Jones exactly
what WE think they should be doing to do things RIGHT. Of course, right
means our opinion of what is right.
We all know that it is not for us to judge what others do. Speaking for myself, I have enough trouble just determining what I should do, and do not need to spend the energy on someone else’s journey. But more importantly, as we read, “the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body, that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body, that would not make it any less a part of the body…but God has so composed the body that there may be no discord, but that the members may have the same care for one another” (I Cor. 12:13ff). Be sure that you honor all the parts of the body of Christ, even if you are a hand, and the foot is making choices you would not. We are each on our own journey, with different tasks at any given moment, and different ways of going about them. God chose each of us. Don’t waste your energy thinking negatively about someone God choose. Allow each person his/her personal walk, with its own mistakes and triumphs. Proverbs 11:12 says: “He who belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.”
Being gentle with yourself
In considering the negative thinking we do for or about other people, I
have noticed something that I’m sure many of you have too. It seems that
those of us who are hardest on others, are also much too hard on ourselves.
The high standard we hold ourselves to is the same one we use to judge
others. That means, if we expect to ease up on those around us, we have to
ease up on ourselves. Does this mean we should allow all manner of evil
behavior? Of course not; it means when we make a mistake, it’s important to
concentrate on the solutions to the problem, not on the problem itself.
This is a simple example but let’s pretend you’re in the grocery store, and a woman reaches for a jar of spaghetti sauce accidentally dropping it to the floor. Sauce is everywhere, and she begins to yell at herself. “How could I have been so stupid? I am so clumsy! What an idiot.” Would you approach and say, “Yeah, that was stupid alright!!” Of course not. You’d likely say something like, “Oh, that could happen to anyone. Maybe I could find some paper towels for your clothes?” In other words, you’d be gentle with this stranger concentrating not on her mistake, but on the ways to fix it. How gentle are you with yourself when you make a mistake?
Laugh a little
There is one final ingredient I would like to call your attention to
this morning, and that is laughter. In my work I sometimes explain to
people that messages travel from your brain to your body, but they also
travel from your body to your brain. That means, if you’re sitting slumped
over on your arm, your brain is getting the message that you are bored and
don’t want to pay attention. Likewise, if you are frowning and crying all
the time, your brain is getting the message that you are miserable, and it
will tend to stay that way. If you can make yourself smile and laugh, even
just a little, your brain will get this message; “she is trying to cheer
up” and it will help you.
Scientists have proven this to be true. Laughter is good for you. It increases oxygen supply in your body, and releases endorphins (a chemical that improves your mood). A few years ago I went through a particularly difficult time and there were moments when I didn’t think I’d make it through another day. I developed a funny habit; I watched “I love Lucy” reruns every night before I went to sleep. Somehow the laughter helped me sleep better, and just for a bit, I sent a message to my brain. I can still laugh, and I’ll get through this.
So, make a habit out of meditating on God’s word, use music to elevate your spirits, enjoy some fresh air, dwell on the moments each and every day that are gifts to us of joy and hope, concentrate on your own journey, not the journeys of those around you, be gentle with your mistakes, and find a way to laugh.
Yona Fisher, Ann Arbor, MI, given at a sister’s retreat.